When I talk about children, I am talking about children about the ages between 7 and 17. A healthy kid will make mistakes because that's their job. Test out the world to see if it'll bite back. Children want the world to bite back because it means there's order and structure that I can follow and understand how to create a world that I want. The world doesn't bite back is a world has no love. If the child breaks no rules on his journey to adulthood there is a deep seeded fear that needs to be addressed. What about the child that constantly breaks all the rules? Well that's a subject that needs to be addressed in another podcast. They are children standing on the train platform designated San Quintin.
In order to implement change for a child seeking direction there must be an economy. An economy simply means that the child is gradually buying into a part of the tribal responsibilities. I always recommend an economy that deals with actual money because it's tangible. The child can actually hold something in the or as a teenager purchase gasoline for the car. Then and only then does life become simplified for the parents. Of course it's always easier if the family has more than one child. Children of course learn from their peers or brothers and sisters by bouncing off their views and ideas and getting sometimes ruthless feedback. The tribe of children usually take care of themselves unless they come into a dispute in which they feel they can't handle. That's when the yelling and the screaming begins breaking up the harmony of the home requiring the parent to address the situation. If you have an economy just like most adults that allows the child or the children to dissolve their own issues.. Kind of like the plumbing on the home. We can hire someone they do it for us or we can learn how to do it ourselves, it's a choice. Returning to the bedroom where the children are in a squabble for fighting, if It was my children I would enter into the room and I would say it sounds like you need a referee. And I tell them I will be glad to referee but it will cost them each three dollars a piece for me to solve their problems and I say would you like me to referee the children but usually get into a huddle. And then the spokesman, usually the oldest one, looks at me and says no I think we can handle this ourselves okay but if you do just just let me know I'll know by the noise level. And economy is simple, easy and yet it's the way planets are made working with teens 14, 15, 16, 17 years old. Their transgressions are more adult oriented. Such as borrowing money that isn't theirs.. Taking the car out after dark without permission. Coming in past curfew.. After the transgression, perhaps the next morning I merely say don't worry about it I do not want you to worry I'll take care of it later and I smile and going to go on with my business. For two days the teenager is humble and filled with love and respect. It's the unknown and is the accountability. It's the way the human being this made to operate on our planet this made to operate on our planet.. After a few days I has to team to coming to my office and have a sit we don't discuss the Y that's irrelevant but the question is just like the young children and the referee how you compensate me for the time you cost me and your mother how are you going to pay this back? They come up with a solution unless they like my own ideas that's very rare but if they do I give them a choice. You may ask yourself, why should the child be responsive? That's very good question. That question is at The heart of social awareness and happiness. The answer is simple. It's one of the 15 rules children need to learn in order to become responsible adults. Accountability for children for children even for partners in a relationship is the definition. Do you care enough to hold me accountable to the rules and if I'm not held accountable then there are no rules and there is only chaos.. After all, a life that has no purpose, a planet that has no rules.. If you plant something and I cannot grow when you cannot harvest White plant accountability, action steps, are the definitions of discipline which meet the equation. Simple choice.
Next week we'll talk about how learning how the game operates may not be easy but it's easier than the alternatives.
This is Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.